The Line Is a Dot To You

Posted on March 18, 2013

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In case this is unclear: That is a man stepping over the line.

In case this is unclear: That is a man stepping over the line.

Brett was an OkCupid find. Online, he seemed well-educated and sweet. In person, it turns out, he was more of an ignorant asshole. Here are a few examples of our first date conversations:

Raz: “A friend of mine is going through a bad break up, but the best way to get over someone is…”

Brett: “To get under someone else?”

Raz: “I was gonna say ‘to get back out there,’ but sure, that works.”

Brett: “Sorry, I’m kind of inappropriate. Just let me know if I cross the line.”

Raz: “Haha. Not yet, but I’ll let you know.”

Later that night…

Raz: “As a kid I was a ballerina, but I’ve since realized it’s not my calling.”

Brett: “Because you’re too top heavy?”

Raz: “You’re getting awfully close to that line.”

Brett: “Oh come on, you can’t expect me not to mention the fact that you have nice boobs.”

Raz: “Actually…”

And later still…

Brett: “I went to UMass Amherst.”

Raz: “Did you ever hang out at the other colleges in Amherst?”

Brett: “At first, I spent a lot of time at Smith. Lesbians really turn me on, and you know, that’s a lesbian school.”

Raz: “You mean it’s an all-female school? I’m sure most of them weren’t lesbians.”

Brett: “No, they were pretty much all lesbians, although a few of them would still hook up with me. Of course, they weren’t the good kind of lesbian. They were the ugly kind. But whatever, a lesbian’s a lesbian, and that’s pretty hot.”

Raz: “And…line crossed.”

One more for good measure:

Raz: “I’m originally from Chicago.”

Brett: “I’ve never been to Chicago, but I know a lot about it since I’ve seen ‘Shameless.’ Do you live on the North Side or the South Side?”

Raz: “On the North”

Brett: “Cause you’re classy.”

Raz: “There are classy people on the South Side, too.”

Brett: “No there aren’t. Like who?”

Raz: “Well, Obama lived on the South Side.”

Brett: “That’s different. He’s black.”

Raz: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Brett: “Black people can’t afford to live on the North Side.”

Raz: “I’m pretty sure Obama could live wherever he wanted.”

Brett: “Yeah, well, I guess he is half-white. But no real black person could live in the North.”

Raz: “I give up.”

—Raz, 26, NYC

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Posted in: My Stories