S.O.S.

Things that would be better than having this conversation…

This story is from Christina, a 26-year-old dance teacher in Boston, as told to Raz:

Back in August, I decided to kickstart my dating life again by pretty much accepting every date I got offered online. That was a bad decision.

I agreed to a date with 46-year-old Mike. While I do tend to like older men, even this guy was a stretch for me. But I was open.

We agreed to meet at Legal Harborside for dinner. I might as well get a good meal out of it, right? Wrong.

First of all, he was 30 minutes late. So I’d already polished off a drink or two at the bar by myself by the time he arrived.

While he was extremely apologetic for being late and very complimentary of me, it became clear quickly that he was not at all interested in actually getting to know me. He immediately began going on about all his different businesses and the places he’d lived and the boats he’d owned. He never once asked about me or my life or what I do.

Reminding myself why I don’t go on dinner dates, I settled myself in, ready to half-listen to Mike talk. Suddenly I realized he had begun to plan our future. Not only was he explaining the details of our next date on his yacht, but he was even planning our future trip to New York where we would go salsa dancing.

When we finished our entrée (and Mike had finished planning our next couple months together), he not-so-stealthily told the waiter to bring a surprise dessert—for our first anniversary!

Moments later, a chocolate mousse was before us with “Congratulations!” written across it. Oh. My. Goodness.

So after I had a taste of the (admittedly delicious) mousse, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Seizing the opportunity to tell someone about all the ridiculousness, I sent a text to one of my closest friends: “I swear I’m going to jump off this building.”  Then, I returned to my date to finish our extravagant evening.

Little did I realize, my dear friend took my message very literally and immediately called me back to make sure I was OK. Of course, I didn’t get her message since I was so involved in my new soulmate’s chocolate mousse. So…she called the police and even tried to get in contact with the restaurant.

According to my landlord later, the police went to my apartment, where my landlord told them, “She lives on the first floor. She can’t jump off anything!”

After my ridiculous date ended, I did get in touch with my friend, and all was resolved. I went home and never heard from Mike again. Silver lining: I remembered how thankful I am to have really good friends.