A Naked Stroll Down Memory Lane

Posted on June 29, 2012

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This story if from Roxie, a 22-year-old grad student in Boston, as told to Raz:

A while back, I was visiting my hometown for a weekend. On Saturday night, I reunited with some old friends at a bar, including my ex boyfriend. Considering he hadn’t been my boyfriend since I was 15, I didn’t think much of it. The group of us talked about what we’d been up to since high school, and had a great time reminiscing.

It was around 2am when I headed back to my parents’ place where I was staying. I had just slipped into my pajamas and was getting a glass of water from the kitchen when I heard a knock on the front door. I looked through the peephole, and it was my ex. A little confused, I opened the door.

“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“I just felt like we didn’t really get a chance to say goodbye,” he said.

What was he talking about? I’d given him the same goodbye hug I’d given everyone else at the bar.

“Nice pajamas,” he said. “Are those ducks?”

“Yup.” Where was he going with this?

“Can I come in for a while?” he asked.

“Umm sure,” I said. “Let’s go to my bedroom so we don’t wake my parents.”

When we got to my childhood room, he said, “Well this brings back memories.”

“Yeah.” He sat on my bed; I sat on a giant beanbag chair in the corner. This did bring back memories. Suddenly I was flashing back to how awkward our relationship had been—he was my first boyfriend, and we had almost nothing in common. Apparently we still didn’t have much to talk about when we were one on one. Could this get any more uncomfortable?

“Why do you think we never had sex when we were dating?” he asked. Yes, it could get more uncomfortable. I was completely caught off guard.

“Well, probably because we were 15. I certainly wasn’t ready.”

He seemed to be thinking about that really hard. I was so tired, and just really needed him to leave. To give him a hint that I was getting ready for bed, I said, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth.”

I went to the bathroom, and came back to the surprise of a lifetime. There was my high-school boyfriend, stark naked and spread eagle on my twin bed.

“Surprise,” he said casually.

I literally had no words. I just stood there in shock. What does one do when their childhood boyfriend is suddenly naked? I think he expected me to throw myself on top of him, exclaiming “I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was 15!” Instead, I started laughing. The exhaustion, plus the absolute ridiculousness of this situation had become too overwhelming.

Poor guy. He tried to laugh along with me before finally coming to his senses, putting on his pants, mumbling something about getting up early and leaving.

Me and my duck pajamas went straight to bed.

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Posted in: Your Stories