Adventures with Benji: Part 2

Posted on March 30, 2012


You know when you say something and your date echoes it back in the super offensive, fake voice of a mentally retarded person? That’s a turn on right? Yeah, that happened a lot with Benji. It’s like I didn’t laugh the first time, so he thought he’d just keep trying it until I did.

Then, we had all these fun conversations that made me think that he may not have been faking it.


On the way to destination number 3:

Benji: Should we catch a cab?

Raz: We’re going three blocks

Benji: You just seem like the kind of girl who’d want to take a cab


Three long blocks later:

Benji: We probably shouldn’t sit outside since you’re cold.

Raz: I’m not cold, it’s nice out. Are you cold?

Benji: No, but you just seem like the kind of girl who’d be cold.


At a Mexican restaurant, waiting for a table at the bar:

Benji: I’m so tired, but there’s only one stool, so you should sit

Raz: No it’s ok, I’ve been sitting all day, you can sit.

Benji: Your feet hurt, you should sit.

Raz: Why would you say that? My feet don’t hurt.

Benji: Oh, you seem like the kind of girl whose feet would hurt.


Later, when we’re seated (outside) and ready to order:

Benji: Which one’s our waiter?

Raz: I see him, he’s at the cash register.

Benji: How can you tell? These Mexicans all look the same.


Our food arrives:

Benji: Don’t worry, I won’t watch while you scarf that down.


Trying to make normal conversation:

Benji: I’m in rehab now recovering from major shoulder surgery. Have you ever had major surgery?

Raz: Umm, nothing too serious

Benji: Well, it was probably pretty serious when you had your penis removed.

Raz: Why would you say that?

Benji: Hahaha, I make that joke with everyone I meet online

Raz: Why?

Benji: Cuz it’s funny, like are these people even girls???

Raz: Why wouldn’t they be?

Benji: So I guess you didn’t think that was funny?

Raz: No


Believe it or not, it got worse. Stay tuned for part 3…

P.S. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, click here.


—Raz, 25, NYC

Posted in: My Stories