Shock Face
Sure, I like a guy who’s in touch with his feminine side—who’s not afraid to cuddle or watch a romantic comedy—but Scott, a recent online find, had me actually worried about what might be between his legs. Why? There were four reasons:
1. The face. I told him I was going to my sister’s graduation a couple days after our date. His reaction? Mouth in a giant o, hands against his cheeks. “Ooooooh,” he said. A bit of an over reaction, I thought, but whatever. Then, when I mentioned a friend was pregnant, he did it again, but this time his pitch was a little bit higher. Then, when I mentioned that I like drinks with cucumbers in them, he did it again. It seemed each story I told and each fact I shared about myself deserved a new level of shock face, and a new high pitch of exclamation. By the end of the date, I was actually turning away from him whenever I said anything so I wouldn’t have to look at it.
2. The love of musical theater. Let me start by saying that I love musical theater, and if I can drag a guy to a Broadway show, ten points for him. But Scott took it a little far. When I mentioned how much I’d loved Matilda the Musical (seriously, that’s a great show), Scott announced that he wasn’t so interested in new musicals, but loved the classics. He then went on a rant about how he couldn’t believe that actress Sutton Foster had gone from a brilliant performance in Anything Goes on Broadway to “Bunheads” on ABC Family. “What was she thinking?!” he said, shock face included. “Although, I do love watching “Bunheads” from time to time. Guilty pleasure!”
3. His other guilty pleasure. That conversation opened a Pandora’s box of information. Turns out, “Bunheads” wasn’t the only TV show meant for teenage girls that Scott enjoyed. He also loooooved “The Bachelorette.” In his own words, he was “totally obsessed.” He was even in a Bachelorette Fantasy League. You read that right. He and a group of friends (all girls, believe it or not) would draft their team of guys for each episode and get a certain number of points depending on at what point in the show their “team” got a rose. Genius? Absolutely. I’ve already drafted a fantasy league of my own. Are there any guys who play with me? Not straight ones.
4. The outfit. As we walked out of the bar, Scott started talking about some girl and her failed relationship. (Believe it or not, he liked to gossip.) I asked, “Wait, how do you know this girl?”
“Oh. She’s my fashion designer,” he said.
“What?” “
She custom designs all my suits. Like this one. Doesn’t it look great?” Then he did a twirl.
That beautiful pirouette was the nail in the coffin. No man of mine will be a better dancer than I am.
—Raz, 26, NYC
Posted in: My Stories
When Bad Dates Happen To Good People 
Posted on July 3, 2013
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