Dating? There’s an App for That

Posted on April 4, 2013

0


The Match Game

The Match Game

You’re on Tinder, right? Seriously? But anyone who’s anyone is on Tinder! “What is Tinder?” you ask. Tinder is online dating on crack. It’s OkCupid meets Grinder. Better yet: It’s speed dating meets Angry Birds.

With Tinder, you can quickly flip through potential guys in your area on your iPhone, while you watch TV or hang with friends, and eliminate them based only on their Facebook photos. Hot or not? Would you approach this person in a bar? Would you be disappointed if this person asked you out? It’s amazing.

Anyway, if you couldn’t tell, I’m officially a Tinder addict. That’s right, I’ve got Tindernitis. And Tindernitis is contagious. I’ve spread it to all of my single friends—girls and guys.

One of my first Tinder matches was David. We had a few friends in common, which attracted me, but it was hard to tell what he looked like—sunglasses or long distances always separated him from the camera. However Tindering inspires my adventurous side so I swept his picture to the right. (For you Tinder virgins, that means I “liked” him.) He liked me back!

Officially a match, we chatted on Tinder throughout the day. Eventually I decided that David was probably not a serial killer, so I accepted when he asked me out. But on the day of our date, he texted to say he was stuck at work. We rescheduled. And the same thing happened on date two.

I was officially annoyed. But he was extremely apologetic, and said that if I could meet up with him the following evening, he was sure he could get off work in time. The next day was a Wednesday, and I have a longstanding date to play bar trivia with my girlfriends on Wednesdays—my girlfriends who just happen to be single. I had an idea.

I invited David to tag a long. “And bring some friends, preferably cute and single, for my girlfriends!” I said.

Wednesday arrived and I started getting hourly updates from David about whether or not any of his friends could join us:

“My coworker’s in! :)”

“My coworker’s out :(”

“Can I get some pictures of your friends to try to entice my friends?”

“Why not?”

“I think I’ve got two people on board :)”

“Ok, it’s only one.”

“No one wants to come :(”

“Should I still come?” he asked finally.

Fail.

Well I wasn’t about to turn him away after all that! I told him he should still join us if he wanted to.

My friends and I got to the bar early to reserve a table, and I got a text from David saying he was—wait for it—stuck at work. He said he’d still stop by but would be a little late. If this was what being in a relationship with David would be like, I was already not interested.

But I’m a good sport and so are my friends, so we named our team “Five Girls and a Rando” and started to play.

As soon as David walked in, I could tell he wasn’t my type. Yup, I have a type, and a short guy with gelled hair and a spray tan just isn’t it. Nevertheless, I welcomed him to sit next to me and silently hoped he would fall for one of my friends.

The nail in the coffin? He was terrible at Trivia. In fact, at several points he suggested that instead of trying to win, we just come up with answers that we think are the most wrong. What!? And tarnish the good name of “Five Girls and a Rando”??? Over my dead body.

When he went to the bathroom, I tried to convince my friends to switch seats with me, but there were no takers.

After a couple rounds, he got an email that meant he had to go back to work before the game was over. Shocker.

The good news? I got four new Tinder matches during that failed one. Best. App. Ever.

—Raz, 26, NYC

Advertisements
Posted in: My Stories