Elbow Room

Posted on December 20, 2012


The things interior designers don't even consider...

The things interior designers don’t even consider…

I recently had surgery on my right hand. My right hand is my dominant hand. (If you’ve been noticing a decline in posts lately, this is the reason.) But still committed to the greater good (a.k.a. this blog) even though I couldn’t type or draw, I didn’t cancel the multiple dates I had set up the week after surgery. Of course, I warned these dates in advance that I’d be showing up with a giant cast. Still, on one of those dates, in the first 15 minutes of that date, this conversation happened:


Him: That sucks about your hand.

Me: Yup. It’s mostly just annoying since I’m right-handed, so I can’t type or write…

Him: Or masturbate

Me: Umm, I guess.

Him: Wanna hear something funny?

Me: Sure…

Him: I’m right handed, too, but I masturbate with my left hand. Wanna know why?

Me: I don’t think so.

Him: As a kid, I shared a room with my brother. So whenever I wanted to masturbate, I had to do it on the toilet.

Me: I think we’ve crossed a line here…

Him: But there was a sink next to the toilet on my right side, so I would  hit my elbow on it if I tried to jerk off.

Me: Yup, we’re really far past the line.

Him: But with my left hand, I could jerk off as much as I wanted, so I still masturbate on the left to this day.

Me: Fascinating.


Sometimes, one conversation is all you need to learn everything you need to know about a guy.

—Raz, 26, NYC

Posted in: My Stories