Wet Dreams

Now what?

This story is from Laura, a 24-year-old vet student in Los Angeles, as told to Raz: 

I guess it all started sophomore year of college. It was required that I take a philosophy course (which had nothing to do with my Veterinary Medicine major, but whatever). The class was small and uncomfortable. I happened to sit next to Alex, a fellow science major, who was tall, quirky and cute—the perfect candidate to help me pass the hours of awkwardness. Weeks went by and we started to hang out more and more. I would meet him in his room and we’d eat lunch together before our afternoon class. Then after class, he’d walk me back to my dorm. I wanted him to make a move, but weeks turned into months and I eventually accepted the fact that there’d be no love affair with Alex.

The weekend after winter break ended, my roommate and I decided to have a small get together in our shoebox of a dorm. The cozy gathering turned into about 25 people, and to my surprise, I got a text from Alex. “Hey Laura!” he said. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Hey! We’re having a party! Come on over and bring more booze,” I responded.

Alex showed up with his roommate and a gigantic bottle of vodka. Ten minutes later, they were chugging it. Literally, chugging it.

A while later, I left to use the bathroom and found Alex hanging out alone in our building’s kitchen. Without saying a word, he walked over to me and started kissing me. Bam! I didn’t even have to try! A five-minute make out session later, we were heading back to my room. At this point, most people had left to go party in someone else’s room, including my roommate, so Alex and I had the place to ourselves. We moved our make out session to the bed. Now, I know I had a comfortable bed, but almost instantly after lying down, he was asleep. Womp womp… I tried to shake him, but he was out cold. A bomb could not have woken that kid up. I decided snuggling all night was almost as good as getting laid (not), so I fell asleep in his arms.

Now, here’s where the real story begins. At about 3:30am, I woke up, lying on my back with Alex’s legs wrapped around me. I had a clear view of my roommate’s bed, and she hadn’t come home yet. Alex was still dead asleep, so I cuddled up and closed my eyes. Suddenly, I felt something warm running down my leg. HOLY SHIT, HE’S PEEING ON ME! And he’s not waking up! 

There was no time to think, the pee was soaking through my shorts and my tank top. So I jumped out of bed, stripped them off and ran panicked into the hallway (in underwear, holding my breasts). Lucky for me, my roommate was chatting with my across-the-hall neighbor who tossed me an oversized T-shirt to throw on.

I gave them the play by play. A bunch of laughs later, we still didn’t know what to do about the boy sleeping in a puddle of pee on my bed.

I ended up sleeping on our futon. When I woke up at 8am, Alex had left. There was a clear circle of urine (still wet) on my bed and a pair of men’s shoes on the floor. Why he ran off without his shoes, I’ll never know. He never come back for them, and we haven’t spoken since.