Rules of Attraction

Posted on September 21, 2012


“OK, this is nice. Just don’t come any closer.”

This story is from Kendall, a 23-year-old assistant fashion buyer in NYC, as told to Raz.

Andrew and I were friends. And I thought I was fine with that. One night, we were talking and joking about past relationships, and I was honestly shocked how jealous I got when he told me he was going out with two women he’d met online later that week. I decided that after his dates, I would tell him that I wanted more.

The next Saturday night, I was out with some friends and he texted to see if we could meet up. When he did, the two of us took a walk. A little tipsy, I confessed that I wouldn’t mind being more than just friends. He asked if he could kiss me. I was blown away. We started kissing and I got pretty in to it. Suddenly, he was pushing me away.

“I don’t like it like that.” he said

“Like what?”

“You were kissing me hard, and I only like to be kissed soft,” he said.


We started kissing again, but this time he had his hand in the middle of my chest, keeping me at a distance as we kissed

This was weird, but I was too excited that we’d turned this corner in our relationship to care. I told him that my feet hurt too badly to keep walking, but he was invited to come hang out at my place. He agreed, and we hopped in a cab.

Back at my apartment, he told me that he really wanted to take things slowly. That was fine by me, and I told him so.

“So if I called you tomorrow and asked you to come hang out with me in the park, and we were in the park, just hanging out, and I leaned over and kissed you, what would you do?” he asked.

Was he testing me? What was the right answer? I was so confused.

I somehow dodged the question, and we got back to kissing. He kept telling me how hot I was but still stopped the make out multiple times to make sure I was still OK going slowly. Now this was just getting annoying.

We moved things to the bed, but I was still making a concerted effort to not kiss him too hard. I straddled him, and he got upset. “Put your legs back over there,” he said. This was getting ridiculous.

When the awkward, slow kissing ended, we were still fully clothed and I was very confused. I was also exhausted, and he was too, so I told him he could stay. Just as I was drifting off, Andrew cupped my crotch with his hand. His hand was just chilling on my vagina, and, once again, I was confused.

“I like to sleep like this when I’m with women,” he explained in reaction to my what-the-fuck-do-you-think-you’re-doing glare. Was he for real? He doesn’t touch me below my shoulders all night and now he wants to snuggle with my vagina as he sleeps? I was too tired to put up a fight.

The craziest part is that after following all his stupid rules about how fast and hard we could kiss, where I could keep my legs, and his uncomfortable sleeping preferences, he didn’t even call me the next day—or over the next couple weeks. Sometimes, it’s definitely better to just stay friends.

Posted in: Your Stories