My Last One Night Stand

Posted on July 16, 2012


There’s something about a man with a guitar…

This story is from Jamie, a 23-year-old photographer living in Chicago, as told to Raz:

After a few months of wallowing in sorrow over a bad breakup, I decided to go a little bit crazy. In hindsight, trying to fill the void of my ex-boyfriend with sex was a very bad idea. Nobody told me that at the time. That’s how Jim happened.

I was on OkCupid, shopping for fellas, when I started talking to a guy who played guitar and had tattoos—like every guy I’ve dated in Chicago. He seemed friendly enough and was a little bit sassy, so we set up a date.

When we met, he was a little abrasive, but still nice. After his second beer (and half of my gin and tonic), we both went outside for a cigarette. The door guy, who knew Jim, walked over and started talking to us. This guy was in his late-40s, covered in biker tats and clearly had no respect for women. He openly started harassing me in front of my date, who did nothing. Then, out of nowhere, Jim disappeared, and I was left alone with the creepy doorman. Eventually, after more heckling, I politely excused myself to find Jim in the bar. When I told him that leaving me alone with the creeper had made me super uncomfortable, he seemed shocked. “You guys were talking, so I came inside!” he said. “I don’t need to stick by your side all night, do I?”

I told him I was thinking of leaving, and he shrugged me off, stepping onstage to play guitar. Though everything in me wanted to say, “See ya loser,” I was curious to hear him play.  Unfortunately, he played beautifully; I’m a sucker for good musicians.

After he got offstage, he got himself another beer and asked if I was still leaving. I shrugged. He said he was going to get his two-person bike so we could ride back to his place. Reminding myself that the whole reason I was on this date was to explore my  promiscuous side, I agreed.

One problem: Two-person bikes terrify me. The person in back has no control! (Kind of a good metaphor for this date, now that I think of it.) Anyway, the ride back to his place was two miles of terror. And he seemed to enjoy my fear, cooing to me as I shook like a leaf on the seat behind him.

What happened afterwards was pretty basic—we went to a liquor store, he bought some wine, we went to his place, he played guitar, then we banged all night.

Judge all you want, but he was a completely different person once we got back. He said all the right things and kept telling me how beautiful I was. In the aftermath of my awful breakup, I wanted to feel beautiful, so I soaked it up. In the morning, he made me breakfast.

Then, when I got up to leave, he stayed on the couch and asked if I was good to get back to my car… which was 2 miles away.

“Will you walk me?” I asked.

“Nah,” he said. I stood at the door awkwardly, wondering if this guy that I just spent the night with was even going to get up to see me out. Nope. He just waved, and said “See you later.”

Walking back to my car, I got a text from Jim saying he wanted to see me again. I told him I’d think about it. I left for my cousin’s out-of-state wedding the next day, and actually found myself hoping to hear from Jim. I even texted him something flirty, and that’s where he really went crazy.

“So are you fucking other guys?” he asked. “I don’t want to see you if you’re fucking other guys.”

“Fine, I won’t,” I said. (I figured I could just drop him whenever I got bored—and it’s not like I’d met a guy I actually liked yet.)

“I don’t believe that,” he said. “I highly doubt you’re gonna stop fucking other guys, and I don’t want to get whatever you catch from them. I’m a one-woman man, and I want the woman I’m with to be the same way, not some slut.”

I deleted him from my phone.

Though I regret the decisions I made with Jim, I know that I’m lucky the most violating thing he did to me was via text. Ever since, I’ve trusted my instincts.

I  stopped using OkCupid for a bit after that, but rebooted my account a couple weeks later to give it one more shot. Mitch was that shot, and we’ve been dating for almost a year now.

I was recently walking down the street with Mitch, and we ran into Jim. He looked right at me, but didn’t say a word. But the feeling of walking past this asshole on the arm of my new awesome boyfriend who treats me like a queen? Priceless.


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