I’ve been thinking that my problem may be that I’m dating men who are too immature. After all, sitting on my lap, lying about your age and spitting out your food aren’t exactly signs that you’re all grown up. That’s why I decided to go out with Ryan, 5 years my senior, who was just charming online.
He took me to Bar Basque (the kind of place that I normally couldn’t afford), and when I asked for a vodka soda, he ordered me Grey Goose. I liked him already—he was fancy.
“My brother drinks vodka soda,” he said as he handed me my drink.
“Older or younger?” I asked.
“Younger,” he said. “He’s actually about a year older than you.”
“Well good. If it doesn’t work out with you, I can go for him,” I joked.
“That’s how it usually goes. He’s a lot taller and better looking, plus he’s really funny, so girls usually go for him over me.” His smile said he was kidding, but the crack in his voice around the word “funny” said otherwise.
I changed the subject, and we talked about other things. But somehow it always came back to his brother, Randy:
“Do you live alone?” I asked.
“I live with Randy. He moved in with me when he got into NYU Law.”
“Oh, is it hard to live with your brother?”
“I’m fine with it. He thinks I’m way too messy though, because he’s really neat.”
“Do you like to cook?” I asked.
“Not really. But Randy cooks some really amazing meals for us.”
“What do you do in your free time? Do you play any sports?” I asked.
“Randy’s the athlete in the family, but sometimes I’ll go to his games.”
So what have we learned tonight? Randy is smart, funny, tall and handsome. He cooks, he cleans, and he’s athletic. Ryan is none of those things.
Call me immature, but is it wrong that I considered going out with Ryan again just so I could meet his brother?
—Raz, 25, NYC